the 8 year journey to my successful fnd diagnosis

MY MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS TIMELINE

Fighting nearly a decade of accusations, injustice, and invalidation, my holistic journey has finally pivoted to a path of true recovery: from life-threatening misdiagnosis to life-changing diagnosis of FND. Finally, I found a treatment team that called my honesty and desire to heal ‘courageous’ instead of ‘crazy.’

I’ve learned that we must be our own hero and define the reality we desire; everything begins with your belief in your own potential – or at minimum, the belief that no matter how others define you, you can always choose to redefine your reality and transform adversity into opportunity.

THE HOLISTIC DIFFERENCE

I believe health and wellness are your human right: we should be able to seek treatment with the expectation of safe effective resources, not fear of trauma. We must believe in the unlimited power of human potential, and believe we can trust ourselves, to reconnect to our intuition and the healer within us all. 

Trusting ourselves gives us necessary confidence to move away from a fear-based society, rooted in distrust and paranoia, and instead foster trust each other, rooted in pronoia, or the belief that you can consciously choose to tap into the natural flow of the universe  – which supports abundance, thriving, and unlimited possibility to reach your highest potential.

After over 8 years of unsuccessfully seeking answers to the cause of my unexplained neurological and physical symptoms, only as recently as June 2021 (the seemingly impossible has become reality!) I finally found a treatment team that redefined my patient experience – from complete invalidation to complete validation: HOW?
  • by seeking a treatment team that values both the necessary cutting-edge neuroscience research and education, in combination with a holistic, collaborative treatment approach, resulting in an effective (and remarkably positive & transformative) diagnosis, which can finally medically explain and scientifically connect all the previously unexplained pieces of Jessica’s complex medical puzzle.

my medical diagnosis timeline (summary)

This example highlights how only after enough time for severe damage to occur, could our siloed specialty medical system intervene. I had been seeing neurologists since 2015 complaining about consistently inconsistent symptoms that only in January of 2021 were validated by MRI. From 2015-2021, I was told repeatedly my severe and debilitating symptoms were in my head, and a result of anxiety.

  • I was only getting sicker seeking specialists within our medical system. I was triggered and consumed with fear being told repeatedly how disabled I’d become, with no option other than invasive spine surgery. 

  • Within the last 2+ months of continued practice, I now firmly believe I have a real chance at avoiding surgery, based on how my body has already structurally begun to realign, by resolving the root issue of my symptoms.

  • I have said numerous times in disbelief through this experience, that witnessing my body’s transformation and receiving such specific intuitive guidance (that was immediately effective) has been more surreal than any psychedelic experience I’ve had. It has taken daily dedication, but I’m achieving unimaginable results in less time than it usually takes me to schedule an appointment with any specialist when seeking help from our medical system that is consistently at best, inconclusive, and at worst retraumatizing, discouraging, and damaging.

  • Once again, I understood the burden of proof was on me to defend my hypothesis; realizing validation would only be attained and the minds changed of my treatment team, once I’d proven that my ancient practices like breath, nutrition, and mindfulness, and modern technology like Lucia N03, had successfully put my health back in my hands, allowing me to find my accurate diagnosis and effective (holistic) treatment solutions. 

  • I myself, had no idea how much of my body was actually full of uncirculating lymph, until the light had literally changed the density of the toxins, releasing my fascia and providing the necessary cellular energy to move the stagnation.

  • Over the following weeks, I used many holistic practices like breath, massage, mineral baths, light, and compression to assist recirculating and detoxifying my body. I cannot overstate how shocking this transformation has been, as I witness what I had misperceived (as did doctors) as bone, skull, vertebrae, was all, in fact, actually a hardened, essentially  layer of toxins sitting beneath my skin. I was so full of toxins that medical practitioners never felt my swollen lymph nodes as they expected, instead only seeing and feeling a surface of homogenous toxins and fascia constricted so tightly, the combination felt like bone.

  • This also exemplifies what I mean when I say we are beings of energy, and our cells communicate using the language of nature: light and frequency. with FND, the energy signals (neural connections) you brain relies on to create a ‘coherent sense of self’ are malfunctioning, thus distorting your brain’s conception of reality.  Likewise, this illuminates the incredible power of accessing the subconscious mind via the hypnagogic state, to promote self-healing that transcends mindful intention on a cellular level. 

  • Our neurons communicate with energy, which is how trauma and triggers induced seizures in me previously, and why Lucia N03 can effectively restart and regulate communication between brain and body. Physically, our skin is the largest organ of our body, and thus a powerful vehicle for healing; we have photoreceptor cells throughout the entire body, capable of absorbing healing light to restore cellular function and the proper flow of energy throughout the system.

  • I have since attended a lymph seminar where I learned light therapy is a validated healing modality for the lymphatic system, explaining my success. I did not anticipate the Lucia light to be a catalyst for such drastic transformation; initially on a physical level I was just hoping for pain reduction. 

Ultimately, I felt I had wasted months of valuable time, money, energy, health, and vitality drained as a result of seeking treatment from our existing suppressive and demeaning medical system. However, I believe in pronoia – that the universe is naturally working to create opportunity to thrive; I have since reframed my disappointment as a potential necessary step in my greater evolution. I believe that I have not only re-instilled a strengthened belief in my own ability to achieve medical agency, I have also accessed a potentially pivotal resource (enrolling in the Stanford Trauma Clinic) to heal my PTSD (I  intend to illuminate Stanford to Lucia N03 as a substance-free alternative to psycholysis, as they currently do not have the resources to offer psychedelic therapy within their trauma center.)

If I had not experienced this firsthand, I would not know how to believe it: I cannot overstate the importance of faith in this experience: I had no vision of how I’d achieve results, but I knew, once again, there was an answer not yet found that would resonate with my experience, and lead to healing. With incredible pressure and dismissal by the leading neurologists in the country, I had to find the confidence in myself to KNOW these symptoms were real, and not a result of me being a rare or extreme patient.

The diagnosis is called ‘FND’ or functional neurological disorder – a notoriously misunderstood yet very real condition. Commonly found in patients like Jessica who have a history of trauma and dissociation, FND can present with a wide range of neurological symptoms, all mimicking common neurological diseases such as MS and epilepsy -like these disorders, FND symptoms are very real and similarly impact a patient’s ability and quality of life; yet unlike these conditions, the scans and tests done on a patient with FND will be inconclusive, as they resemble a ‘healthy’ patient, therefore easily leading clinicians to believe the symptoms reported are ‘not real’ or faked.

[Simply put, if we use the analogy of our brain as a computer, while diseases like MS are a ‘hardware’ problem, FND is a ‘software’ problem – meaning there is a glitch in the the software code, which dictates the programming responsible for how the brain and body (nervous system) interact. It is various forms of traumatic experience that manifest physically, as a result of miscommunication between the fight/flight stress response center and the motor function center of the brain, as trauma ‘rewrites’ the original programming code with ‘glitches’, resulting in physical automatic responses to the brain’s overactive signaling, which are then compounded by a decreased ability to regulate these overactive areas once they are ‘triggered’ into communicating.]

FND was originally diagnosed by hypocrites using the term ‘hysteria’, and unfortunately this detrimental stigma continues to pervade the present day medical community. Far too frequently patients with FND have experiences that mirror Jessica’s: where the patient is left with the misperception there is no hope for answers, much less effective treatment, commonly traumatized as a result of systemic dismissal while seeking help, often resulting in additional medical complications. Originally it was clinically believed this ‘hysteria’ diagnosis could only occur in women, but the medical community has since been forced to update the perception and definition of FND, as it has become rampant in the veteran community presenting in all genders as an emerging form of PTSD at epidemic levels. 

Medical Diagnosis timeline: SEEKING TREATMENT FROM 2014-2021

2014
first unexplained neurological symptoms
  • BEGINNING OF SEVERE TRAUMA
  • mISDIAGNOSED DISSOCIATION AS MENTAL ILLNESS + OVER-PRESCRIBED PHARMACEUTICALS
    • first ER / Neurology exam for symptoms mimicking MS (inconclusive)
2015
Begin Neurology MRI/testing
  • First MRI for unexplained occipital pain and neurological symptoms
    • ALL TESTNG RESULTS = INCONCLUSIVE
2017
Redefine Mental Illness Misdiagnosis
  • begin yoga & health coaching in addition to outpatient treatment program
  • Realization/education/diagnosis of PTSD with dissociation
    • Against the will of my treatment team, I redefined my reality by secretly titrating myself off misprescribed pharmaceuticals, supplementing with holistic tools to heal myself
    • secretly given a copy of the dsm-5 to become my own medical detective/lawyer: proving and defending my hypothesis (misdiagnosis of dissociation as mental illness)
    • use wearable technology (CGM) to validate unstable blood sugar & ptsd are root cause of perceived mood instability
    • validate efficacy of removing pharmaceuticals with positive health results
  • from hypochondriac to affectionately dubbed 'dr huyser' by my medical team after successfully changing the minds of the treatment staff: proving misdiagnosis and achieving mutual respect/collaborative care
february - march 2018
intuitive red flags signal i have outgrown what this program can offer
  • FEBRUARY 2018: FRIEND FROM VA GASLIT & REMOVED FROM MY TREATMENT PROGRAM
  • MARCH 2018: DEADLY SHOOTING AT YOUNTVILLE VA
    • MEET 'grandpa' WESS & FRIENDS FROM VA, WHO SUPPORT MY DECISION TO LEAVE UNSAFE TREATMENT at program
april 2018
the courage to leave dangerous & ineffective treatment
  • VOLUNTARILY GRADUATE FROM TREATMENT IN SEARCH OF EFFECTIVE TREATMENT FOR PTSD
2018
follow flow of yoga and mindfulness
  • Continuing To Seek (Additional) Effective Treatment Solutions For PTSD &
    Rebuild Independence
  • BECOME CERTIFIED YOGA INSTRUCTOR
  • INTRODUCED TO MICRODOSING THROUGH YOGA
  • GIVEN MICHAEL POLLAN'S BOOK 'HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MIND' (SCIENTIFICALLY & spiritually VALIDATING decision/EFFICACy re: MICRODOSING)
april - august 2019
first Lucia N03 Experience
  • INTRODUCED TO LUCIA N03 THROUGH YOGA
    (WHERE I AM OFFERED & ACCEPT LUCIA N03 BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY)
  • TRAIN WITH LUCIA N03 US DISTRIBUTOR
  • MEET LUCIA N03 INVENTOR
  • INTRODUCE MICHAEL POLLAN TO LUCIA N03
  • INTRODUCED TO UCSF NEUROSCIENCE DEPT
september - december 2019
first TransTech Conference (Exhibiting & Speaker)
  • INTRODUCED TO (AND PRESENT  AT) FIRST TRANSTECH CONFERENCE
  • co-found bay area light collective
  • LAUNCH MULTI-LIGHT COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS EVENTS
february 2020
SEEK CLINICAL RESEARCH OPPORTUNITIES

to validate Lucia n03 safety & efficacy using US populations

  • launch connections to potential clinical research (/lab access)
  • MANIFEST PERSONAL LUCIA N03 LIGHT TO LAUNCH PERSONAL LIGHT BUSINESS (LUCID HOLISTICS)
  • LAUNCH MULTI-LIGHT COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS EVENTS
march 2020
COVID-19 GLOBAL PANDEMIC
  • COVID-19 GLOBAL PANDEMIC
  • BEGIN QUARANTINE 
  • PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS + MENTAL STRESS = NEUROLOGICAL SYMPTOM RELAPS
june 2020
ER/MRI/Testing for paralysis & Symptom Relapse
  • ROUGHLY 3 MONTHS PRIOR OF GRADUAL WORSENING SYSTEMIC SYMPTOMS RANGING FROM MUCUS CONGESTION, AN INABILITY TO BREATHE, HIVES, TO SENSORY DISTORTION
  •  SUDDEN PARALYSIS & NEUROLOGICAL SYMPTOM RELAPSE:
    • GAIT, TREMOR, & NON-EPILEPTIC SEIZURE ACTIVITY BROUGHT TO ER FOR TESTING (INCONCLUSIVE)
  • SENT TO UC DAVIS FOR NEUROLOGY DEPT (/EVALUATION/MRIS)
June 2020
Rejecting Misdiagnosis pt. 2: Deny Invalidating ER Treatment
  • Even with complete loss of pelvic floor and leg function, I was told by the Department chair of Neurology at UC Davis my symptoms were in my head (but to appease me, we’d order an MRI)
  • I later realized I'd possibly received this medical stigma and invalidation due to UC Davis' outdated patient chart that still read mental illness as the diagnosis.
  • I left the ER denying treatment, not willing to risk covid to stay overnight for the MRIs then, also not confident in this neurology department reading the results after being dismissed.
July 2020 - July 2021
seeking help playing 'specialty Head to Toe bingo' 

 July 2020 - January 2021: Inconclusive Testing &  Continued Invalidation 

  • I was scanned head to toe, seeing essentially every specialist available
    • At this point I could not breathe easily, my body was completely congested with mucus, my heartbeat was irregular and I would frequently lose consciousness, my gait was off, my liver enzymes were elevated, and I could barely walk without pain. My legs had become so swollen, I could barely move without my knees giving out beneath me.
      • Yet 6 months of ultrasounds, labwork, CT scans, more MRIS and x rays, the results continued to be inconclusive.
January 2021
MRI validates Spinal Cord Damage

January 2021:MRI validates Spinal Cord Damage (& paralysis symptoms dismissed from June 2020 ER visit)

  • MRI results validated what I'd been told was 'in my head' since 2015. Now, I was told not only is it real, but the damage also requires spine surgery.
  • Gone wrong, this could have devastating life-lasting consequences.
  • Once again, i was told my symptoms of swelling with toxins, loss of cognition, heart arrhythmia, cognitive impairment, chest pains, and multiple organs essentially malfunctioning, were not real symptoms, but rather just misperceived sensations with no validity for treatment or concern.
  • I was told if I did not accept surgery, I was at risk of paralysis. Yet, my most debilitating symptoms were not explained by the MRI results, nor were they likely to resolve with surgery
February 2021
Reject Misdiagnosis pt. 3: Refusing a Rush to Surgery

& Waiting For A Resonant (Holistic) Treatment Plan

  • I'd rejected UCSF demanding immediate surgery as a result of MRIS taken in Nov. 2020
    • having been ignored when requesting time to balance my nervous system, receive treatment for my PTSD, and stabilize my blood sugar with an insulin pump to ensure I had the best possible outcome with lowest risk of complications
March 2021
(Finally) co-creating A Resonant Holistic Treatment Plan!
  • Stanford agreed with the diagnosis of ('medically impressive') spinal stenosis, and due to damage to the spinal cord (the reason for my symptoms dismissed in July 2020) they agreed I would need a spinal disc fusion surgery
  • I implored them to consider postponing the surgery until after I had the opportunity to regulate my nervous system - as my system was obviously malfunctioning. and I knew my body would not accept an already risky surgery successfully.
  • I give tremendous credit and gratitude to Stanford Neurosurgery because they were the first department to listen to me, agree, and co-create a holistic treatment plan!
    • Though I agreed to consider surgery once I stabilized my system holistically, I have found new hope that I may be able to avoid surgery completely now witnessing the impact of my detoxification and drainage. 
    • with such a rapid turnaround from downhill to results, I have been reminded once again, of our incredible and innate healing ability)  having had no options left but to have faith that a resonant treatment would come, and until then to trust myself & my safe, non-invasive tools!
march 2021
becoming my own healer using intuition + my holistic toolkit
  • after yet another reluctant brief physical from Stanford Neurosurgery Dept. although we had agreed to treat my PTSD/nervous system & stabilize my blood sugar as part of my holistic treatment plan, I was still dismissed as anxious with no explanation beyond my unusual systemic symptoms being in my head, or that I'm wrong, and my stagnant lymph was just weight gain or imagined - I decided to stop seeking help from Western Medicine and trust my intuition & holistic toolkit.
    • I knew we had not found the root cause, because even though they confirmed surgery would be necessary, stanford also said they had no idea why i was experiencing 95% of the symptoms 
  • I successfully replaced hopelessness with effective healing solutions and systemic results!
    • I told my family I could not believe that doing these weird random sequences had actually stopped constricting my airways, and I no longer was struggling to breathe after months of no solutions - incrediblY.
      • I'd later find out from fellow healers that in fact, the 'intuitive movements' I found myself doing were often ancient kriyas, or ancient practices known to promote healing. 
      • My subconscious mind was communicating to me in a conscious (flow) state how to assist my body's healing, and essentially reprogram my manifested trauma held in my nervous system.
  • I'd become so constricted in trauma response + full of toxins that my lymph was in fact pushing my spine and entire skeleton out of alignment)
    • using the Lucia N03 light on my body activated my stagnant lymphatic system and released my contracted (locked) fascia, allowing the (very real) fluids to reabsorb and circulate. 
    • Internally, I used conscious intention with the light in the hypnagogic state to reprogram my physically manifesting trauma response and heal my autonomic nervous system. 
    • I began using the Lucia light (backwards) on my spine. I began visualization meditation healing and aligning my spine. I intentionally reprogrammed the belief that my body was healing itself, and in the hypnagogic state gave my body permission to heal. I asked my subconscious to show me how to heal myself.
    • Externally, the light provided necessary frequency to physically restructure (molecularly,via the water within) my system, to provide necessary cellular energy, promote blood flow, and communicated through my fascia like a superhighway, thus changing the density of the toxins and allowing a reversal of stagnation, promoting reabsorption and circulation.
march 2021
Witnessing Effective Results! (when Western Medicine had given up)
  • Within one week, my pain decreased tremendously to the point I could walk.
    • On walks, I would receive intuitive visualizations or literal voices (I know, sounds crazy, it felt crazy) telling me to breathe in certain ways while tensing certain muscles or pressing on various areas of my body that would suddenly tingle with sensation
    • i have since been able to move fluid from every surface of my body, and finally feel and see my swollen lymph nodes, only after the initial layer of fluids had compressed and become less congested.
  • within two weeks of leaving the 'wild western medicine goose-chase' and instead believing in my ability to heal on my own using my holistic tools, i went from no mobility to doing yoga again; my pain and mobility improved remarkably. 
  • within one month, i began witnessing stunning physical transformations that far exceeded my expectations: (as i had suspected) it was, in fact, my lymph system that was malfunctioning as a result of autonomic dysfunction
    • as you can imagine, this also has allowed me to realign my entire skeleton, and likewise my organs are no longer constricted and are functioning much more efficiently (I use the light over all organs and feel systemic improvement.)
    • Likewise, my cognition is night and day now that my CSF is circulating and I am receiving proper blood flow and oxygen. 
  • As I told my endocrinologist as recently as May 2021: (who, like every specialist I’ve seen, has no suggestions for how our medical system can assist my lymphedema even if they do believe me) “Until you have lymphoma, Western Medicine doesn’t seem to have any resources available to assist me with lymphedema.” She simply replied with, “Yeah! That’s true.
June 2021
the holistic treatment plan that led to my life-changing diagnosis
  • As a result of my holistic treatment plan, I agreed to begin working with the Stanford Trauma Clinic, which I will start in July 2021 (essentially a year after my initial ER episode- that is the pace of the current system.)
    • I have not found effective psychotherapy since leaving my program in 2018, so this is an incredibly promising opportunity (though I also look forward to educating them to Lucia N03, as my intake coordinator disclosed Stanford does not currently offer psychedelic therapy for PTSD due to limited resources and qualified staff. 
    • (During my Stanford Trauma Program Intake,my experience was validated, saying “i cannot tell you how many people are misdiagnosed with mental illness when in reality it is trauma/dissociation, and as a result put on toxic levels of pharmaceuticals.”)
  • As part of my holistic treatment team, a third (90 minute) intake was conducted with the Stanford Neuropsychiatry Dept;
    • their cutting-edge neuroscience and experience probing the intersection of psychiatry + neurology allowed them the confidence & clinical experience to finally identify my accurate diagnosis of FND: the missing glue that connects all my previously 'unexplainable' medical experiences.
    • Now, as a result of a comprehensive and accurate, holistic treatment plan, I was properly identified and am awaiting treatment with an incredibly promising prognosis for recovery
    • EVEN MORE AMAZING, THE UNDERSTANDING OF FND & THE NEUROSCIENCE OF FND SCIENTIFICALLY VALIDATES THE EFFICACY I'VE ACHIEVED ON MY OWN USING MY TOOLS INDEPENDENTLY, AS I WAITED FOR A RESONANT TREATMENT PLAN TO BE PROVIDED.
      • (INCREDIBLY, MY TOOLKIT INCLUDING MINDFULNESS, HYPNOSIS, AND NEUROPLASTIC STATES, IN ADDITION TO SOMATIC EXPERIENCES LIKE YOGA AND BREATH WORK, ARE THE LEADING TREATMENT OPTIONS FOR FND!)
July 2021
The Root Cause of My Dysfunction: FND
  • next steps: Continuing My Holistic Treatment Plan for FND/PTSD At the Stanford Trauma Clinic
    • Stay tuned as I continue to track & validate the efficacy of my holistic tools as I wait for the beginning of my holistic treatment plan at the Stanford Trauma Clinic!